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My Life as a Military Wife

Below I will post updates on life as a military wife and lessons to learn and grow from. 

Let's face it, military life is NOT easy! As a military wife we spend long, sleepless nights without our husbands, try to juggle laundry, cooking meals, messes, children, finances, jobs, homework, hygiene, dishes...i could go on and on, but you get the point...As a military wife we can feel like a "single" parent most of the time and that is difficult on anybody. I think as a military wife it's easier for us to think about what's going wrong in our lives, or to think about all the struggles and trials we face. It's NOT easy being a military wife, but it's NOT impossible. The hardest but one of the most crucial parts to being a military spouse is to stay positive.  You become what you think. Just as you can think yourself into "unhappiness", you can think yourself into "happiness." You can choose to be happy at any moment. Some choose to dwell on shortcomings and misfortunes and all that will bring is more shortcomings and misfortunes. Nothing positive will come if all you do is think negatively. Instead, choose to only think positively. When something negative arises, I just think to myself, "Does this deserve my time and attention?" If not, then don't dwell on it. Instead channel your energy into something positive and into something that does deserve your attention. I've never had anything positive come by thinking negatively. If you have time to whine about something, you have time to do something about it. If you can do something about it, then do it. If it's out of your control, then there is no need to worry about it. Worrying doesn't get you anywhere. We can't control when our husband's get home or when they get sent on deployments. We can't control where we move or how long we will stay. All we can do is to use that time we are given and make the most of it. Not just make the most of it, but make the best of it. You can bloom wherever you are planted. 

I have been a military wife for 5 1/2 years and have 2 children ages 5 years and 2 years. Every year we have moved, so I never got the chance to settle and make new friends. For the majority of our military life my husband has traveled, been on a MEU, constantly going out in the field, deployments, and has worked long hours. Like most military wives, we have been married for X amount of years, but the time spent together might be a quarter or half that amount. I have to say that with my husband being gone most of the time, and lack of friends from constantly moving made military life hard on my children and I. It can be frustrating never feeling like you ever have a "set" schedule. Maybe he will be home in time for dinner, maybe not? Sometimes you make plans and the military can unexpectedly change everything. Nothing is set in stone. The time with our spouse is limited, so wouldn't you think we would treasure that time? Sometimes we do...but other times it can be spent arguing. Half the arguments can be avoided if you dont set unrealistic expectations or wait for your partner to make you happy. I have learned over many years to not count on your husband to make you happy. I was constantly looking for my husband to make me happy, and to entertain me when he got home. While your husband may come home after a long day's work, he may want to come home and play video games, sleep, or have some alone time; while you on the other hand are ready to hand your children off to him as soon he steps in the door, or you are ready to get out of the house when all he wants is to stay home and relax. Instead, give your husband 15 min atleast to unwind from the day when he get's home. If your husband likes to sleep, play video games, etc don't wait or get frustrated waiting for him to finish. Instead, do what makes you happy. Work on a hobby, make friends, exercise, or try something new. It doesn't mean that you should spend the whole day away from each other, but each of you should have time to yourself and time together. Marriage is full of compromises. Set some time aside to talk together about how you can improve your marriage and how you feel. Use "I" statements. "I feel", "I think", "I wish" etc. Don't ever use "always, or never statements." The best time to talk is when you are both calm and can discuss rather than battle it out. Compromise. If your husband wants to stay home and relax and you want to go out everyday, maybe you can compromise and agree that he take you out once or twice a week. It's always better to take the higher road and pick and choose your battles. Not everything is worth fighting over. 

Jan 19, 2012

My 20 month old son broke my eyeglasses, and seeing how they were expensive I didn't want to go by a new pair, so I went to the Family Vision Center on mainside to see if they could fix it. They said that it needed to be saudered back together and that they were not able to fix it, but recommended me to the Watch and Jewelry Repair inside MCX. I took my glasses there, and again they said they weren't able to fix it, but recommended me to Hot Shot in Carlsbad and said they fix everything. I drove down to Hot Shot and this place is amazing!!! They were able to fix my eyeglasses for only $10 and they were done within 15 minutes!! They are so friendly and helpful. I would recommend them anyday!

Feb 1, 2012

Today someone heart-attacked my house! They even made a plate full of homemade sugar cookies with a sweet note. Remember to do little things for others cause it could make a HUGE impact in their life. I was praying and asking if what I was doing was making a difference, and God answered my prayer through someone else. You could be someone's angel. Remember to do good continually no matter your circumstance and that You Are Special and Important!! 

Feb 2, 2012

It's tax season! If you don't know already militaryonesource.com does free tax consultations and e-filing! 

Feb 3, 2012

Go to museums for free! Go to www.sandiegomuseumcouncil.org.

March 6, 2012

Joint Medical is completely covered by your Tricare which means you get free massages! Joint Medical has 2 locations! The first is located at 410 S. Santa Fe Ave Suites 201 & 202 in Vista, CA 92084 at the intersection of S. Santa Fe Ave. and Oceanview Dr. They are between the Bank of America and Car Quest across the street from the American Legion. To schedule your appointment call 760-726-4275 or email them at info@jointmedicalcorp.com. There second office is located at 1151 Puerta Del Sol, San Clemente, CA. 92673 and you can reach them at 949-366-1800. You can also visit them online at www.jointmedicalcorp.com. Let them know Taylor Hewlett referred you! Thanks so much!

March 27, 2012:

Don't wait for a rainy day to fix your roof! Always be prepared. Take a few minutes to watch this video and learn some moves to practice self-defense. You never know if you might need to use it someday. It could save your life.

March 29,2012:
Build Your Self-Confidence by watching this video!! Also make sure to check out Living a Happier Life tab on this blog!

April 4, 2012:
It's my birthday! I got my hair done at Salon Ink in San Diego cause they are the best! I highly recommend them to EVERYONE. If you are looking for a great place to get your hair done go to Salon Ink! I also went and got my eyebrows threaded for the first time (since I usually wax) at the Westfield Plaza mall in Carlsbad at Brows Shaping Salon. My eyebrows have NEVER looked this good! They did an amazing job and now I will always thread instead of wax cause it looks SO much better and hurts way less! Definitely check both these places out!


April 10,2012:
I made this S'MORES in a jar today. All you do, is crumble 1 1/2 C of graham crackers and melt 4 Tablespoons of butter (30 seconds in microwave) and add to graham crackers and mix. Put in the bottom of a mason jar. Place the jar on a rectangle pan filled with 1-1 1/2 in of water. Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 12 min. Take 3 chocolate hershey bars and brake them up and place in the jar carefully and continue baking for another 3 min. Take Marshmallows and place in the jar and turn the oven to broil on high for 2 min. Take the jar out and let it cool in room temperature. Then eat!!

April 18,2012:  

How to Build and Know Your Selfworth
by Taylor Hewlett

 

1. Only talk positively about yourself. Compliment yourself everyday.
2. Make a list titled "Things I Have Accomplished Already."
3. Listen to inspirational music.
4. Associate with people who bring you up.
5. Walking faster makes you feel and look more confident.
6. Get dressed up to increase your self-confidence.
7. Stand up straight.
8. Compliment others. Look for the best in others and you can find the best in yourself and attract it to you.
9. Work out.
10. Smile at everyone and even when you are alone. Smile no matter how you feel inside. It creates good feeling endorphins.
11. Count your many blessings. Name them one by one.
12. Listen to these songs..."What Heaven Sees in You, Let It Begin, I Am His Daughter, Beautiful to Him, When You Look in the Mirror, Child of Light, Just as I Am" all located on www.pendletonmoms.blogspot.com under Quotes and Inspirational Pieces.

Quotes:

"EVERYTHING you do affects someone else." Everything you do makes a difference.
 

"If you want to know how much you matter to God, look at Christ with his arms outstretched on the cross, saying,"I love you this much, I would rather die than live without you."

 

"You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There is no limitations to what you can do except the limitations to what you cannot do. Don't think you cannot. Think you can."

 

"In our Father's eyes we are literally worth everything."

"No one can do what you were sent here to do."

"Be more concerned about what God thinks about you, then what others think about you."

 

"You may never know how much good you accomplish. Someone's life will be blessed by your efforts..."

"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world."

"The type of person you are can influence whether or not other people choose eternal life."

 

"Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God."

 

"For you know who created you and there is only one of you. Never, in all the seventy billion humans who have walked this planet since the beginning of time has there ever been anyone exactly like you. Never, until the end of time, will there be another such as you...From your father, in his moment of supreme love, flowed countless seeds of love, more than four hundred million in number. All of them, as they swam within your mother, gave up the ghost and died. All except one. You! You alone persevered within the loving warmth of your mother's body, searching for your other half, a single cell from your mother so small that more than two million would be necessary to fill an acorn shell. Yet, despite impossible odds, on that vast ocean of darkness and disaster, you persevered, found that infinitesimal cell, joined with it, and began a new life. Your life."

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."

"God is your Father in Heaven. Jesus is your brother. You are royalty and someday you will be a goddess. Uphold your family name"

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."

"If I do my best, anything said against me wont amount to anything."

"Be your own kind of beautiful."

"Many of us may feel that our lives are not very important to the entire scheme of things in the universe. The next time you begin to feel that you make little difference, consider all those whose lives would be different if you did not exist. Some of you may feel that others would be better off without you, but before you fall into that trap, remember you have influenced so many lives and so many lives were blessed because of you. You must not lose hope. You must not give up. You do make a difference. Your life has a profound impact on many others. None of us knows the future or how lives today will influence the future generations. But being good and doing good can make a profound difference."

 

"You are not an accident. Your birth was no mishap. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. He was not at all surprised by your birth. In fact, he expected it. Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God. He thought of you first. It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment. You are alive because God wanted to create you! The Bible says, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me." God prescribed every detail of your body. He deliberately chose your race, the color of your skin, your hair, and every other feature. He custom made your body just the way He wanted it. He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality. The Bible says, "You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. "Because God made you for a reason, he also decided when you would be born and how long you would live. He planned the days of your life in advance, choosing the day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in Your Book! God also planned where you'd be born and where you'd live for His purpose. God left no detail to chance. God decided how you would be born. Regardless of the circumstances of your birth or who your parents are, God had a plan in those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic makeup to create the custom "you" he had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you. Many children are unplanned by their parents, but they are not unplanned by God. God's purpose took into account human error, and even sin. God doesn't make mistakes. He has a reason for everything he creates. Every plant and every animal was planned by God, and every person was designed with a purpose in mind. God's motive for creating you was his love. God was thinking of you even before he made the world. In fact, that's why he created it! We are the most important thing God made. God made you so he could love you. God says, "I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth. Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I have made you and will take care of you."

Poem by Russell Kelfer

 

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

"Compare what you deserve with what you have and you will be happy."

"If we all did the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."

On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman

  "On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, "Life will never be the same." Because there had never been anyone like you...ever in the world...So whenever you doubt just how special you are and you wonder who loves you, how much and how far, listen for geese honking high in the sky. (They're singing a song to remember you by.) Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo. (It's because they've been dancing all night for you!) Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind. (Listen closely...it's whispering your name again!) For never before in story or rhyme (not even once upon a time) has the world ever known a you, my friend, and it never will, not ever again..." 

Mother Teresa's Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

June 11,2012:

H2H.jobs is a great new website for military members and their spouses. It has local jobs that are hiring in your area, virtual and live hiring events, military skills translator, career assessment survey, professional networking opportunities, details on careers (such as salaries for each career low-high, what skills you would need, education, work experience, description, job details).  It also has tips and advice on resume writing, interviewing skills, and more! It’s a great website and resource. Check it out!